My period cramps are so bad, they’re like those massage chairs that roll up and down your back except it’s not my back and it’s not a massage it’s just waves of bad
I cry so easily when I’m involuntarily bleeding like this, and I can feel my mood turn at the drop of a hat and it’s like I’m on the outside telling my inside self, “NO STOP, IT’S NOT A REAL FEELING IT’S THE BLOOD BEAST. THE MOON SICKNESS!!”
Me refusing to listen to myself over and over again and smiling ear to deaf ear while I dive head first into cold waters avoiding meeting my own eyes in the reflection yet again yet again yet again
And after the blood beast has ravaged my village (vagillage??? anyone???) I’m left looking at all the shit I wrecked because I was PMSing like a motherfucker and I’m SORRY but also my lower back hurts too much to pick up the pieces right now please call back in 2-3 business days
Whatever I’ll YouTube a Ted Talk when it’s over. Get a latte. A frappe!!!
I could eat a whole seafood buffet right now. Every single crab leg they’ve got would be like a sacrifice to the blood gods and maybe then I wouldn’t cry so easily and it wouldn’t hurt so bad
The ancient art of bleeding through your underwear at work. The timeless fear of sneezing.
Prattle Peach 