Last night at 2am I was looking through month-long Airbnb stays in Seattle, Nashville, Chicago, and New York. They’re all places a younger me thought I might end up. Young me thought I’d just be able to move across the country to somewhere I’ve never even been.
I was thinking about looking for a job in another state and just leaving and starting over. The only thing that has ever held me back is me missing my friends. When I was 19 my whole family moved away without me so I know I don’t need to live near them to be okay, but I definitely prefer living near them.
And then there’s the stupid part of my brain that’s more psychological, that doesn’t want to close any doors or finalize any maybes. By this I mean I’m afraid to leave because what if I was meant to be with one of the guys I dated, and if I leave to another state he’ll never get the chance to love me and I miss out on a relationship. I know that’s awful and that’s the worst part.
As if one of my dating app matches is Prince Charming. (But there’s never a 0% chance that he’s not…)
I can make new friends, get a new job, visit my family a few times a year. Maybe dating is easier in a place where there are actually seasons. Maybe my guy is waiting for me in a coffee shop in Portland or a bar in New York.
It’s actually laughable that I could ever imagine that my soulmate lives in Orange County.
I think I might explore the idea of taking a weekend here and there to visit a new city until I find the one that feels like home.
I have a thing for tall guys with glasses, maybe I should try Seattle? I love an English or Irish accent… should I think bigger?
I just watched The Holiday and I cried the entire time because I want to be Reese Witherspoon and have Jude Law sweep me away in a little cottage outside of London. I want so badly to just run away from everything I know and find something new and unexpected.
I really want to swap lives with someone for a couple weeks. I don’t know if I want to permanently vanish from life as I know it, but I definitely want to make a disappearance.
I remember staying a week in Ireland when I was 19 and I thought how amazing it would be to just move there. To have a little house near the neighborhood pub and meet up with my friends after work.
I’ve tried romanticizing my life but there’s not much to romanticize. I think I just need to do something soon to add some flair to it. I want just one good movie moment, especially before I get too old and it’s too late. Your 20s are supposed to be filled with adventure and I just haven’t done anything remarkable yet.
Have you ever done anything drastic like moved across the country or to another country? And what were the pros and cons?
Prattle Peach 