Sharpie fine point marker pens that let you write small and precisely and remind you of getting shitty Circle K coffee with your friend Chicago because it’s what we deserved
Putting plans into your calendar at the beginning of the month and knowing you have something to look forward to at the end of the month
Listening to someone talk and coming up with the perfect response that makes them feel heard and understood
Ultra-precisioned writing that leaves no doubts or questions
Hearing your mom talk about her day and knowing that she is smiling because it was good
Taking things one day at a time and doing your best each day, so at the end of the day you feel truly satisfied
Getting one minute of full uncertainty and pouring all of your hope into those 60 seconds and then getting what you hoped for
FMSP (Fat Man Starfish Position) – when you eat too much so you Just sprawl out like a starfish on a flat surface and let the tides of your tummy take you where you need to go
Knowing someone misses you as much as you miss them, and knowing you will see eachother again
Being proud of your friends for achieving their goals and reaching new stages in life
Picking out little baby clothes for your first pregnant friend even though you can’t believe she is cultivating a human being in her body, that you will be amazed by when it enters the world
Eating ice cold watermelon like you are four years old and not giving a single care about being sticky
I love my old cardigan that’s too stretched out to fit my shoulders and that has the huge hole in the right pocket. It isn’t white any more, but has turned into this cream color.
I like that now the sky isn’t immediately dark, but stays light enough that you can see the clouds at 8 p.m.
I can see the velvety roses and watch the wind blow the flag across the street and listen to the quiet. I’m always surprised that my street is so quiet because it’s so close to such a loud scene.
I love when the sprinklers come on when I walk by, and it feels silly but I smile every time my heels just make it across before a puddle forms behind me. Like I am this untouchable thing, a mini sun that cannot be washed away by the sprinkling rain. Maybe since it’s at night I’m instead a mini moon and my phone is the glow.
I wonder if there are still rainbows forming in the moonlight but we just can’t see them. There are probably little rainbows all over but the cones and rods in our eyes are too dumb to see them.
I want to run through sprinklers holding sparklers and not get itchy from the grass at all.
I would walk very far without my phone if I wasn’t so bad with directions. I love to leave my phone behind places so I don’t have to talk to anyone but I would never find my way back to it.
If you were to write a book, what would be the sentence used to tell the reader that your character had fallen in love?
After she was sure he had gone, she took the pillow he had lain on and held it to her face, feeling the warmth of his lingering presence and smelling the remnants of his scent.
It isn’t so much falling in love as it is realizing that you had existed within it as a state of being for so long now that you can’t name the exact moment it occurred and you have no memory of falling at all, no bruises and no pain. Just patience.
I’m too tired to make a great big entry to this post but I have a list of good reasons to be tired that make you feel good:
Working for over 12 hours and getting great work done that you’re proud of and going to bed without any more things you have to do
Staying up too late talking to your favorite person even though your eyelids can’t possibly be open for much longer, you keep them open just to hear them talk
Figuring out how to play a song that isn’t tabbed anywhere and even though you won’t play it for anyone because they wouldn’t know it, you remembered all the words and got all the notes right just for you
Finishing the last season of the best show ever and taking time to figure it all out
Thinking a little too much about someone and wondering what they meant when they said that thing that made you smile so big that you felt it all day and all night
Not moving from your spot on the couch because your little animal is asleep and you just can’t bear to wake it up because it’s just so cute and you’re so happy that your pet is your small house guardian
Reading a really good book and not realizing that you’d spent hours and hours reading but it was so worth it for the ending and the story and you get to take part of that story with you into your own
Going on an epic Wikipedia or YouTube dive and learning a bunch of new things that you wouldn’t have if you hadn’t happened upon them
Still taking off your makeup and putting your hair in a ponytail so it doesn’t get messed up with you sleep even though you could dive under the blankets now, but you prevented the messed up hair and the zit that always pops up when you don’t wash your face
Looking forward to something so much that you can’t sleep like you’re a kid going to Disneyland for the first time ever but you’re not a kid so you have to relish these moments because they’re so few and far between
And that’s it, a lot of run on sentences later. I’m happy and happy to be happy for many many reasons but these are a few good ones.
The holidays scare away all the boys who only want to come over after 10:36 p.m. They don’t return until after the yucky cuffing and cuddling season is over, until the fireworks are in the air and it’s a new year so the coast is clear!!! The Women Are Over Their Need To Have A Fulfilling Relationship. We Are Safe Until October.
They’ll be the first to wish you happy new year and the first to swipe up on your selfies and reply on Snapchat. They’ll even send you a DM of your own Instagram picture and tell you how delicious you look (because you do!) but they won’t comment publicly. Of course not.
One will tell you how much he missed you and how busy he was, and you’ll think Really? Busy in the middle of this pandemic, even? Wow gosh gee whiz. How surprising! Except for the part where it isn’t surprising because it never is. This would be the third chance you’ve given him to suddenly fall in love with you and not just use you like a blowup doll. Do you think the third time’s a charm?
One will say he just used this time to really focus on work, and you’ll ask Oh well have you become very successful then? Have you lived up to your big talk about how much money you can make? And he will say this new year looks very promising, very lucrative, and can you send a picture?
One will say he shut everybody out, it’s not just you. He barely talked to his friends, even. He’s so sorry about that. So so sorry, it wasn’t cool. So can he come over? He can’t stop thinking about your body.
What about a personal favorite of mine, he has really grown so much this past year. He’s so thankful for everything, and hopes you are too. He hopes you want to hear about how much he has bettered himself. He knows his path, but he forgot your address, can you send it so he can come in 30 minutes to just hang out and catch up? In bed?
Getting a cute little Snapchat when you’re drinking a glass of wine alone watching a movie that says “ha ha ha ha ha get drunker and send cleavage pics“ should make you throw up in your mouth and hit block. Do it, I dare you. I double dog dare you.
Then hold up your wine tumbler that keeps the rosé cold and cheers to how great your cleavage will look in the face of the actual man who loves you, when that happens. SPOILER ALERT: it will happen, and it will happen so good. Cheers to the dirty dirty dirty sex you’ll have with a man you didn’t give it up to until you were exclusive. And fucking cheers to saying goodbye to these losers and waiting for a little thing called true love, baby!
I wish someone would tell me what to do sometimes. Like hey, we reviewed your file and decided that based on 100% reliable facts and science that you definitely should stay and be safe. The world is your oyster and will deliver you all of the opportunities you want and you will never want for anything more. Here’s a coupon to Bath and Body, go get a nice relaxing candle because you deserve it!
OR!
Hey, we have predicted that you’re going to zoom up up up in life but ONLY if you leave now it’s a one night only blowout sale for your amazing future the prices are unbeatable everything must go and everything means YOU! Hasta la vista baby enjoy your dream life! You are a fucking monolith of immutable force, eat up the world and consume the stars.
It’s supposed to be the time to grow and I don’t want to mess up and shrink.
I think, like horoscopes, that there is a little bit of all of this in every woman. What part of your personality do your nails highlight?
Getting your nails done gives you control, power, and a show of your individualism.
You pick the color, the shape, the length, the medium. You pick based on how you feel, what you want the world to know about you, what you want the cashier at the store to see when you hand them your payment.
What do your nails say about you?
Image courtesy of Mashable Infographics.
Let’s start at the beginning. What shape are you going for today?
Square and squoval nails are straightforward. I see them on a businesswoman with a family, someone who cares about herself but doesn’t want to sacrifice the functionality of her hands. A mom who wants to be able to play catch with her kids without breaking a nail, and types on a keyboard all day on the office without drawing too much attention to the clacking of the keys.
Round, oval, and almond nails are for old souls. A girl that wears a red lip as an accessory to any outfit. She’s refined, well-spoken, and always orders the same drink at the bar (with a straw of course). She has an animal that she’s very close to, and animals like her. She likes when things look nice, and comes off as organized and put together but her car is a mess.
Coffin nails are for women who talk with their hands. She gets excited easily, and has a few things that she is very passionate about. She likes to show off a little, can be called dramatic, but she makes the best secret keeper. This is the girl that breaks hearts but only a little bit on purpose.
Stiletto nails are for that bitch. She watches beauty tutorials on YouTube, or maybe she has her own content channel. She always smells good and gives everybody advice that she never takes herself. She’s always aware of the newest trends, but she only chooses to follow things that suit her. She definitely has a tattoo somewhere, and it probably has a cool meaning behind it.
Image courtesy of COSCELIA Nail Varnish.
Time to pick your color. There’s always a big book or key ring of plastic nails to flip through and this decision has heavy implications about who you are.
A solid red is sexy. It says everything you need it to. There’s a power behind every hand gesture, and a promise. Red reminds me of the lady from the movie Holes that painted her nails with snake venom.
A solid white is for a girl that is funny on Twitter, but pretty calm in real life. She takes a lot of pictures. White nails look good every day of the year, but they also need to be refreshed more often. It’s expensive to keep up but it’s worth the luxury.
Fun colors like teal, purple, color-changing show that you like to have fun. If you can get your nails done every two weeks you might as well try every color. You probably get the newest drink at Starbucks just to try it. Fearless.
Getting one sparkly nail evokes a little bit of fun, but it’s like a little secret. Catch me if you can. Getting a full set of sparkly nails is wild and I don’t trust you but I bet you own either two disco balls or two diamonds. The B.D.E. of a woman with a full set of sparkly nails is off the charts.
A girl that goes in with a design has anxiety. She took a screenshot of nails she spent an hour going through Pinterest choosing, but she didn’t trust the internet connection in the nail salon to pull up her picture so she screenshotted it and while waiting for her name to be called she had the picture pulled up and made sure the screen wouldn’t lock when she showed it to the nail tech.
Who are you this time? I think, like horoscopes, that there is a little bit of all of this in every woman. But what nails you choose say a lot about what part of your personality you want to highlight at that time.
This week I am medium-length, pink coffin-shaped gel acrylics. And it feels good.
Prattle Peach 