Tag: review

carmilla and the girlhood horror of being chosen

Carmilla, a gothic novella by J. S. Le Fanu, explores themes of loneliness and dangerous friendships through the eyes of naive teenager Laura. Her intense bond with the seductive and predatory Carmilla reveals a compelling, intimate depiction of vampirism. This dynamic evokes broader comparisons to contemporary vampire narratives and relationships.

Carmilla, the 1872 gothic novella by J. S. Le Fanu, understands that when you are lonely enough, a dangerous friend can feel like a miracle. It can feel like a blessing from God, even if they are really jealous amphibians who soak in blood like a tampon.

Laura is nineteen. Pause. Listen to Hayley Williams’ cover of the Tegan and Sara song Nineteen right now. Come back. Now you’re in the brain of a 19-year-old girl.

Laura lives in a very rural world with her aging dad, no mom, next to no social life, and very little experience. Life is boring, anything new that happens feels so big and exciting.

When Laura meets Carmilla, she isn’t entering the world of someone living a full life, she is meeting someone with a big gaping lonely hole of a life who dreams about making a friend her age. She is very naive, which makes Carmilla (beautiful, intense, new) look like The Apple to Eve.

Carmilla is seductive in every sense. She has the pull of an intense new friendship: fast closeness, emotional whiplash, obsession, secrets, quick codependence, and the feeling that someone fascinating has chosen you. When you’re a teenage girl, you throw yourself into people like this. You want to feel special, you want to be chosen. Laura knows absolutely nothing about Carmilla, and points out multiple times that Carmilla won’t share details about her life.

I like the sapphic take, and that is a different lens to view the book in. My personal read comes from knowing how it feels to be absorbed by a friendship before you know whether that person is safe.

Carmilla is a predator. She’s your best friend who only wants you to spend time with her. She has mood swings, strange expressions, possessiveness, manipulation, and this constant sense that she knows more than she is saying. She is plotting, but she is also driven by appetite. That’s why this version of the vampire is so compelling and can be seen going strong today in pretty much everything. She is manipulative, but she also may not fully have self control.

Thinking about how this type of vampire that J. S. Le Fanu has crafted shows up in other famous works, Dracula feels like a male vampire story about purity, possession, and men rallying around Mina. We must save the purest woman. The purest woman will inspire us all, as Men.

Carmilla is more intimate. Laura isn’t perfect, she’s very naive because she has no experience. The vampire takes advantage of her loneliness. The vampire gets into the home, the bedroom, the friendship, the nervous system. She does not only attack Laura, she makes Laura love her.

And Carmilla is an amphibian! Picture her naked and perfectly preserved, pickling herself in a coffin filled with blood. She is a tampon of monstrosity. That was my favorite depiction of a vampire. She is beautiful, weak, ancient, deadly, and dependent all at once.

I have been going back to the “sources” of some of my favorite creatures like vampires, fairies, werewolves, witches, etc. and reading the original works and comparing to the modern versions. This version of the vampire feels very familiar, and very cool to have held up this long.

Is Carmilla… Edward Cullen? Is Bella Swan, Laura? I can’t get into this right now.

dreams never made us kings and queens, our dragons did

House of the Dragon Season 2 thoughts

I just finished House of the Dragon season 2 and although I feel a little blah about the ending, I think it was really interesting and the characters developed well throughout the season. I have read the A Song of Ice and Fire series, but I have not read Fire & Blood, so I am basing my opinions purely on the show. Spoilers below!

I love that Daemon Targaryen finally bent the knee to Queen Rhaenyra Targaryen. I really wanted them to be a power couple in this series – I imagined there would be a beautiful scene where Daemon and Rhaenyra would fly Caraxes and Syrax side by side, gazing across the sky at each other and sharing a look of trust before diving into battle. It was disappointing that he was off having bad, even gross dreams and wandering the spooky grounds of Harrenhall and lowkey (highkey?) attempting to take the crown for himself. Meanwhile, Rhaenyra had to prove she was worthy of the title to people who questioned her because she was a woman even though aside from rather recklessly tossing Targaryen bastards in front of dragons, she’s been fairly levelheaded.

If he had supported her sooner, I don’t think she would have kissed Mysaria aka the White Worm aka MISS DO NOT TRUST. I really hate that since Daemon was off on his vision quest, Rhaenyra put a lot of trust into this questionable whisperer. I don’t think she will end up being a good character but we’ll see. Her nickname worm is foreshadowing to me, no one good was ever called a worm. Also, she banged Daemon and Rhaenyra is just like let’s be besties hehe let’s kiss too?!? Are we just going to let that slide? You’re telling me no one in that whole castle doesn’t think this is weird? I just know looksmaxxed Prince Jacaerys Velaryon would have some things to say to his mom and jut that sharp little chin out while he says it. I can hear him saying, “My uncle Daemon’s dragon is called Blood Wyrm, then he bedded the White Worm, can’t we let worms/wyrms be his thing? Why must you, my Queen, also be into worms?”

I feel like we needed some more episodes to truly feel some of the more emotional parts of the season like the loss of Princess Rhaenys. She really is my Queen Who Never Was and she died fighting like a true dragonrider, but I didn’t feel the impact as much as I might have if we got to see her relationship with Rhaenyra develop more. I would have liked to have seen more screen time between the two (ideally less wormy, more Rhaenys). Only 8 episodes really didn’t feel like enough, I think it should have been 12 episodes and I hope they make future seasons longer.

I liked the way the golden dragons looked, especially Sunfyre (RIP?). When I watch fantasy shows or read fantasy books, I think this is how every dragon should look. Sunfyre is so beautiful and magnificent to watch. Syrax is a close second for me, her deeper gold scales and the intelligent look in her eyes complement Rhaenyra’s aesthetic well. This season, I particularly liked seeing how the dragons’ personalities mirror their riders’ personalities and I’m looking forward to seeing those interactions more in season 3.

I, like everyone else, am waiting patiently for Ser Criston Cole to be killed but I like that his character got quieter so he was less annoying the second half of the season. No new remarks from me that can’t be found in any other comment section.

I am ready for Queen Alicent Hightower to be punished for marrying Rhaenyra’s dad, having his kids, deciding last minute to develop a serious comprehension issue and not questioning that Viserys Targaryen would suddenly not want his beloved daughter to be queen, royally fucking over her childhood friend and starting this whole war. For being such a misogynist, I think she’s a bad mom, and really that should be the only thing going for her at this point. I didn’t like when she forced sweet, witchy weird Helaena Targaryen to march behind her dead son and get overstimulated and mobbed, especially after forcing her to marry her degenerate himbo brother Aegon Targaryen. I super didn’t like that Alicent neglected Aemond Targaryen for years and contributed to him becoming a rizzy asshole with mommy issues. She doesn’t really support Aegon, kind of leaving him on a deathbed after he was burned, so it just feels like I’m wondering who does she support, besides herself? I will caveat that even with all her faults, it’s creepy and wrong that she was abused by Larys Strong and that she has to live in the same castle with him hanging around. That probably means that she just never really feels safe anywhere, since she doesn’t really have anywhere else to go in the middle of the war and that is sad. I feel like the final scene in the season finale between her and Rhaenyra was a bit of a waste, since there wasn’t anything new or redeemable for Alicent. She isn’t good for her family, isn’t good for the realm, and everyone is rejecting her as her opinions hold little to no power now so let Syrax eat her, and let’s move on.

I like that Helaena seemingly has some supernatural or otherworldliness to her. I wasn’t sure where they were taking her character, though she did always seem dreamy and trancelike in a Luna Lovegood type of way. I hope she has some powers like Bran the Broken or the character Alys Rivers who helped Daemon see that he needed to chill out and take a knee. I loved seeing her speak up to Aemond and am excited to see more of her in season 3.

Let me know what you think! Maybe I’m wrong and some of these characters are totally redeemable.